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you can't be blamed for "starting" the fight. He started it by cheating. The fact you place the blame on yourself shows how much he has ruined your self-esteem (or maybe, just taking advantage of it). Your marriage's problem go much deeper than cheating and arguments. It's good you are getting help, and I guess he is too (or, used to?), but you two need to be apart. If he's worth keeping he be willing to do what it takes to get the both of you to a place. If he doesn't if he guilts you, threatens you you know he is only thinking of himself. You need to do the same (+ your -). He is not going to stop sleeping with men. If he was capable of doing so, he would have already. By blaming his actions on an addiction or an illness, he is refusing to accept responsibilities for his own actions. The best thing for your is to provide a home. This is something that this marriage never provide them. If you stay with him, it never be a good marriage. Even if he deals with his anger/violence, abusiveness, and his mental health issues, he still be. There's no way this is going to ever get through his life without being with men. Could you really accept that? Plenty of of divorced parents live happy lives. Give yours that.
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